Hey, Apple! Another Moronic Upgrade! Really?

I have this old iPad. It has stopped playing very well with newer apps and does crazy things when the apps start interfering with each other. When this happens, the Apple Store Genius suggested I just restore the factory settings, try to move on slowly by reinstalling apps and try to figure out which app it doesn't like. Oh, great. I have nothing better to do than figure that out (isn't that Apple's Job since they control all the apps?), so the iPod sits on my desk largely unused.

Then, I read an article in Slate (here) suggesting that a new app (Duet Display), about to be released, could be used to turn your iPad into a second monitor. Since I need more monitor real estate, that sounded like a good use for the old iPad. So, I decided to clean it up and get it ready for Duet Display by restoring the factory settings, upgrading the operating system and wiping out all the old apps and data.

After the iPad was restored (I did this from my Mac) and after I swiped the "Get Started" screen, I was greeting with the window above which is either in Danish or Swedish (Google translate couldn't make up its mind). So, OK, I was able to figure out how to configure my Wi Fi but after that nothing made sense and Google translate wasn't helping. 

My next step was to go searching on the Internet for "How to change the iPad Language setting" and this took a bit of time and a few dead ends, but eventually I found instructions (here). The instructions say it's for iOS 6 or earlier (I'm at iOS 8) but the fix worked. Go to Settings > General >  and locate the fifth group of settings, which contains three options (that you can't read) and tap the last option. This takes you to a screen that allows you to select a language you can read. Then you have to go through the entire "Get Started" process again but at least this time you understand what you are doing. All this jerking around probably took me two hours.

This is really crazy! Apple desperately needs someone like Steve Jobs to throw the offending tablet on the floor, fire the software engineers that wrote the Restore program (they were probably Danish or Swedish) and scream at people till everyone wakes up. 

The programming solution is very simple. Ask what language you prefer before going through the "Getting Started" process. Any of my students could program this for you, like that last moronic iPhone upgrade (here).

Hey, Apple! Read this: Dumm Updates sind verboten!

Hey, Apple! Fix the iPhone Upgrade Process!

There's a new upgrade for the iPhone operating system (iOS 7.1.2). I've been through a lot of these upgrades. Everyone is the same: brain dead. 

Here's the problem. My iPhone is full of music. Each upgrade requires more free space. Changing my "...media sync options to make more storage available" doesn't really do that so I have to delete songs manually. This is like asking me to perform my own root canal. Every song I pull off manually is painful, like pulling another tooth.

Here are some options. I'm going to write the options out in pseudo code. Any one of my students could program this for you, Apple. If you're interested in hiring them, I'll send you a list.

The first option: automatically delete songs that aren't played very much until you have enough free space (I know you keep information on how often a song has been played).

Sort songs by the number of times each song has been played;

Do Until (There is enough free space);

     Delete songs starting with least played.

Here's another option: automatically put deleted songs out into the cloud.

Sort songs by the number of times each song has been played;

Do Until (There is enough free space);

     Put the least played song out in the cloud;

     Keep the song in the playlist but mark it as out in the cloud;

     Delete the song on the iPhone.

Here's another option: store all the music in the cloud unless I ask to play it. I have many, many more songs that I have purchased from you on iTunes than I can possible put on my iPhone.

Download to the iPhone the list of all songs purchased from iTunes;

When I select a song to be played, download it to my iPhone;

If ((my iPhone is out of space) or (you need more space for an upgrade)) Do Until (There is enough free space);

     Delete songs starting with least played.

Well, I could go on. 

"Why are you putting this on your blog," you ask, "rather than sending it to Apple as a suggestion?"

Obviously, you have never tried to make suggestions to a large computer manufacturer or a software developer. Try notifying Google Maps (or worse yet, Apple Maps) that something is wrong: "We'll let you know when we've upgraded the map to reflect your correction." Right! That was three years ago.

Is it just me or does it seem that Apple System Programming is a bit uninspired these days?

Jobs the Movie (No, it's not about US unemployment)

The video above is the trailer for the upcoming movie about Steve Jobs starring Ashton Kutcher and Amanda Crew with a large cast (here and here) out of Apple history (Jack Dudman, Mike Markkula, Steve Wozniak, John Sculley, Andy Hertzfeld, Gil Amelio, Bill Atkinson, Chris Espinosa, Jeff Raskin, etc.). If you've read Steve Jobs (the book), I think you'll find the movie very interesting, especially after seeing the trailer.

I have written posts about Steve Jobs (here) and hope to do more in the future. And, I can't wait to see the movie.

It Wasn't Made in Uzbekistan

The orignal iPod commercial with Steve Jobs doing the voice over, Propeller Heads "Take California"!

When you took an iPod out of the box it was so beautiful that it seemed to glow, and it made all other music players look as if they had been designed and manufactured in Uzbekistan, Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs, p. 393.

I like the original commercial a lot, but there were also the set of iconic commercials, for example:



All this ($75 million first year budget) to revolutionize the music industry! Rip. Mix. Burn.

TECH NOTE: The original iPod used a tiny 1.8" Toshiba hard drive that held five gigabytes of storage (about a thousand songs). Toshiba was not sure what to do with their innovation but Jon Rubinstein at Apple did. The hard drive was soon to be replaced by flash memory (the current MacBook Pros with the high-resolution retinal display come only with flash memory, no hard drive--good bye hard drive crashes and over-heating)!

Think Different

A Moment of Silence for Steve Jobs

...lest we forget the startup sounds of the Mac SE.

Steve Jobs: Love and Death

In his 2005 Stanford Commencement address (video above and transcript here), Steve Jobs said that "You've got to find what you love" and "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Since 1969, I have worked on every type of computer platform (Supercomputers, mainframes, minicomputers, graphics workstations, IBM PCs, Macintosh, etc.). I must say that the only platform that was fun to work on (rather than just hard work) was Macintosh. What an extraordinary compliment and achievement in a world where everything was supposed to be cool.

A friend of mine who was a graphic artist sent me the following note today:

Reading about Steve Jobs' death tonight I recalled my introduction to Apple, and to the Mac, in your office, circa 1988 - if memory serves, you had set a Mac up for me to play with. After 30 minutes I was dazzled, and I have been ever since. I just wish I'd bought stock. In our household we have 2 laptops, 3 desktops (2 inactive but they're still sitting around) 2 iPhones and several iPods. Just today at work I downloaded an ebook to my Touch. It was so easy.

I'm still in love with the stock (here), the computer, the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad and future products yet to be invented. Steve Jobs, 1955-2011, RIP.